To Console And Not Be Consoled

How can you be consoled when you’re so used to consoling?

And yet when you do the thing you detest most, asking for help, you’re always reminded that there’s no space for you nor are you awarded first place and yet there’s an expectation for you to unravel and share yourself with others, others who claim to love you yet the truth appears that either they do not know what love is or the usual – love, as I’ve always known it, comes with conditions, tick boxes, terms.

Conditional love is worthless and damaging. You are greater and deserving of more than conditional love.

I learned from a very young age that my pain didn’t matter and wasn’t important, the audacity of a child needing what all children need, how dare I? I learnt to compensate by ignoring Self all together, reinforcing within myself that what I feel doesn’t matter and still I managed and have always done to give to others, being in the habit of giving far more than what is reciprocated and this too, is costly.

I have learned along the way to stop looking for love from people who can’t love themselves, stop looking for love from people who spend more time tearing down others to make them feel better about themselves and who avoid acknowledging their ways. Stay clear of people who pretend or have forgotten their conduct and will blame anything but themselves for their conduct, including you.

Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Or don’t.

Silencing the mind is powerful, not ignoring your thoughts but to be without thought is to be present. Abstaining from projection beyond what is being presented in any moment is an offering of peace to Self.

Can you Self Love during the hard times or do you revert to outdated habits that no longer serve you? Disturbing comforts that aren’t comfortable at all, heightened ignorance just to pretend to be safe, wrapped in a bubble you never had and you never will so you still fight with holding on to what never was and what’s definitely gone.

What if you’re destined to console and that is your role because too hardened is the heart of the ‘adult’ within the body, that the fragile mind is encaged in.  

Do you have more than you need and for that are you greatful?

I realise, I do not need to be consoled and I am greatful for the reminders of how dangerous and unproductive comfort can be, how comfort can keep us ignorant of the atrocities surrounding us and how comfort to some extent lends a hand to greed. The importance of comfort to a child is a part of nurturing but how does comfort nurture the adult?

What is so difficult to face that the adult needs comforting from?

How will you endure?

Be careful who you give little pieces of yourself to and guard your heart like you would gold because even those granted the responsibility to protect you, can have poison in their soul.  

Authenticity is more important than ever, if you are brave enough to look at yourself through your own eyes and remove the masks, you can champion your best Self.

Your strength is unfathomable.

Do not allow others to burden you with there demise or overshare unnecessities, guard what you’re willing to give and only offer what you’re willing to be taken which may I remind you does not have to be a great deal.

*L O V E  Y O U R S E L F*

Console yourself. Offer yourself peace, calmness, Self Care, Self Management, Self Compassion and the list goes on.

Acknowledge that going backward serves no purpose, it just fills a void on a temporary basis and you deserve better than that, greater than that, you are greater than that, you just have to remember to believe and act wisely with intention.

Never ignore the fact that solitude is powerful.

Solitude Is Powerful.  

Take all the space you need to bask in your power, to honour your Self and set yourself free.

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

“To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully Big Adventure.” LD Lore

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