I. R. M. A.

You know we never really talk about what happens or what’s in store for the little girls who have great dreams that they never quite manage to actualise yet the power of their hopes and dreams never fade.

When it feels as though no matter how hard you try, it’s never good enough like you’re cursed and you’ll keep going because there’s this unquenched yearning that will force you to, you’ll stay positive and spread hope because you know what it feels like to endure hopelessness but life always has a way of reminding you that you’re not the kind of woman who gets ‘the guy’ or ‘the fab life’ or ‘that creative job’ or ‘the acknowledgment’ or ‘the house’ or ‘the perfect family’ or ‘the money’ or ‘the dream.’

On Instagram, we never get the show reel or reality reminder that she can try with all her heart and not prevail, after 30 years she is still a still person.

Still unable (and unwilling) to hold down a 9-5 because it makes her soul feel dead.

Still unable to hold onto love, a real love,

Still working through trauma of sexual abuse and all the feelings of worthlessness that come with it.

Still never had a real love or someone tell her and mean it, that they love her and they’ll be there,

Still fantasising about that dream wedding yet unable to get an appropriate date.

Still incapable of saving herself, let alone anyone else but generally way better with the latter.

Still had high hopes of saving her Grandma and now her Grandma is D E A D.

Still unable to be who and how she wants to be, trapped in an adult’s body,

lost in a child’s mind,

wounds so deep,

Numbness is all she can find,

and STILL,

she’ll be ok, enough to be fine.

But we don’t talk about these women or these things – No man ever chose to bear his child, the desperation from the absence of childhood nurturing, leads the lost to climb into the arms of those who only wish to misuse, abuse and harm, leaving lifelong small scars.

Never be afraid to express what you feel, it’s yours and what’s yours is real.

No one’s words can downplay what you know, unless you let them, inception of a delicate mind is deception, be it for the right reasons, I think it’s wrong.

The beauty of honesty and vulnerability is that when you express yourself, you may change the perception of your mind,

Better still you’ll know all will be fine but how can you conclude this if your precious truths you hide?

How can you outgrow outdated beliefs if you don’t let them go?

Whose standards are you trying to live up to?

Whose path are you trying to walk?

Tell that girl to have patience, the road you travel is unique and as you know comparison is the death of Self, allow yourself to weep.

For holding on to dreams that aren’t yours are dangerous and boxing yourself into should have’s is not you, praise the liberation of Self your experiencing and walk your own way through and through.

Forgive yourself for wanting to conform to constructed societal ‘norms,’ for swallowing a rotting capitalistic dehumanising song and Rise In Your Power.    

YOUR Power is YOUR Power!

Right now you must be YOUR focus.

Right now, YOU must water YOURSELF to enable YOU to G R O W.

One day all you can imagine will be greater than you can fathom – both patience and work are required in order for you grow.

Motivate yourself any way you know how and understand that resting is also allowed. Complete rest no action, movement even thought, it’s ok.

Acknowledge the importance of flow, relinquish the need to control.

Don’t reach for the final destination just work at practicing through the next level.

Be patient with growth and dial down unreasonable expectations.

Self Love is a practice. Value Self Love. Respect Self Love.

Identify Self Love

Revere Self Love

Magnify Self Love

Ascend Self Love

Spend ample time observing yourself, pour kindness into yourself, attack yourself less and know that you can conjure the greatest Self Love.

You must conjure the greatest Self Love for yourself because you are deserving.

Refrain from clasping on to ‘normalised’ external desires and use the time you waste on grasping for control on working through within.

Nurture your internal seeds; give yourself permission to grow, no matter how slow.

Send yourself peace – you deserve peace.

Choose, consistently, not to be at war with yourself. Choose peace.

Sending light and love, ALWAYS x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s